She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Randomize
