just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Randomize
