I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
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