no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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