Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Randomize
