her vagine was all disorganized.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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