yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
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