sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Let's paint friendship bongs
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Randomize
