i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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