I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Man, jail baloney is awful.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
