that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize
