Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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