I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
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