if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
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