Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
