remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
