i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
