I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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