There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
stop calling my apartment porn island.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
