No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Randomize
