dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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