Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
