Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
i permit you to call me
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
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