There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
I have demons in me.
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
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