I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize
