love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Randomize
