What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
