it wasn't lemon gatorade
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
