I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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