my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize