i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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