Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize
