I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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