i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
