i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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