Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
