Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
