im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
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