Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Randomize
