This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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