im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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