Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
