porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
My pussy is not your playground.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize
