There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
This toilet bowl is my home.
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