If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
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