Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
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