I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
