Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
