The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
