i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
