Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
My bed is full of blood and feathers
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Randomize
