the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
