ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
