My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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