sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
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