hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
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