I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
