I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Randomize
