so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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